The words of King Lemuel. An oracle that his mother taught him:

What are you doing, my son?
What are you doing, son of my womb?
What are you doing, son of my vows?
Do not give your strength to women,
your ways to those who destroy kings.
It is not for kings, O Lemuel,
it is not for kings to drink wine,
or for rulers to take strong drink,
lest they drink and forget what has been decreed
and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.
Give strong drink to the one who is perishing,
and wine to those in bitter distress;
let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.
Open your mouth for the mute,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
pen your mouth, judge righteously,
defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Proverbs 31:1-9 ESV

There are two kinds of people in this world: males and females. Pretty basic stuff, I know. But all the same, our culture is certainly having a hard time figuring it all out. You see, even though we each belong to one of those two categories and came into existence through their union, there is much confusion over what masculinity/manhood and femininity/womanhood ought to look like.

Thankfully, the Scriptures address the topic in the very first chapter (see Genesis 1:27), and they don’t stop speaking on the topic. But of all books in the Bible, the wisdom literature is particularly well-suited to thinking deeply on godly manhood and womanhood. Indeed, that is the purpose of wisdom literature, to be meditated on constantly and continually.

Over the next two weeks, we will study what Proverbs 31 has to teach us, and we should not expect to uncover the full depths of this passage. They cannot be fully plumbed, but there are riches to be uncovered each time we dive into their words. And while our verses this week specifically speak to men and next week’s will speak to women, we are all surrounded by fellow men and women each and every day. Despite what Marxist feminism would have us believe, we are entirely interconnected and interdependent, for that is God’s design.

So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
ale and female he created them.

THE WORDS OF A MOTHER // VERSE 1

While Solomon is the author of much of Proverbs, he is not the sole writer of this book. Proverbs 30, for example, records the words of Agur, the son of Jakeh. Our present chapter is another. They are the words of King Lemuel. We know nothing about this king. Some have suggested that Lemuel was simply another name of Solomon, like how he was also called Jedediah. But it seems best to assume that King Lemuel was an ancient king, probably of a small kingdom or even city.

But even though these are the words that King Lemuel has written for our benefit, they are words that he was taught by his mother. If Lemuel was a Gentile, we might wonder how he gained such wisdom and even knowledge of Yahweh. But this would seem to be the answer. Perhaps his mother was an Israelite woman, who became married to a foreign but allied king. And though she dwelt in both a house and land of foreigners, she did not forsake her devotion to Yahweh. But regardless of the exact circumstances, which we will never know in this life, we can read her oracle as recorded here in Proverbs 31 and conclude that she was clearly a godly woman.

And she sought to pass on her knowledge of Yahweh to her son. Verse 1 says that this chapter is an oracle that his mother taught him. The word ‘taught’ can also be translated as instructed, educated, or disciplined. Indeed, it is the same word used in Proverbs 19:18, which says, “Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death.” In both of these verses, the Septuagint uses the word παιδευω, which is the verb of παιδεια, the Greek concept for education. These words, both in Hebrew and in Greek, are describing much more than simply having Lemuel memorize this oracle, although that was clearly what he did. Rather, through this oracle (and, no doubt, other such words), she sought to instill the knowledge and wisdom of Yahweh into her son.

Christian parents are called to do the same. In Ephesians 6:4, we find this command: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline (παιδεια) and instruction of the Lord.”

There is one more point that is worth making here. We do not know when Lemuel wrote these words down, nor do we know how old he was whenever he wrote them. We also do not know how well (or poorly) Lemuel followed them. He may have taken them to heart from an early age and walked after them the best he could. Or he may have scorned them as rubbish in his youth and lived in foolish contrast to them. But whether through obedience or error (and likely both), Lemuel clearly came to see the great value of his mother’s words, for why else would he have written them down. As Christians, God has not promised that all of our children will be saved, but if we are diligent to raise them in the education of the Lord through His holy Word, we can at least take comfort that the Scriptures shall accomplish God’s purpose in its hearers (Isaiah 55:11). 

WHAT, MY SON // VERSE 2

The oracle begins with a bang: What are you doing, my son? What are you doing, son of my womb? What are you doing, son of my vows?

The Hebrew is even more intense because as the ESV footnote states, the words are you doing have been added to the translation. The Hebrew literally says, “What, my son? What, son of my womb? What, son of my vows?” The triple repetition tells us that she is earnest and passionate to have her son’s attention. She will give him plenty of advice and wisdom in the remainder of the chapter, but for now, she wants him to pause and consider what he is doing. Indeed, this is often where wisdom must begin. It is all too easy for us to coast through life. As we go throughout our routines, we tend to turn on auto-pilot, sort like when you space out while driving and realize that you can’t remember any details of the road or landscape for the last several minutes.

The Bible repeatedly warns us against sleepwalking through life, for God calls us to stay awake and be watchful. He tells us to be sober-minded and to pay attention because life matters and what we do matters. And they matter eternally.

So what are you doing? Annie Dillard rightly said that how we spend our days is how we spend our lives. Are you spending your days how you want your life to be spent?

Many commentators have connected the phrase son of my vows with Hannah’s vow with Samuel. Along these lines, Charles Bridges gives a wonderful encouragement and exhortation to mothers:

Happy mother–when the son of her womb is the son of her vows!–like Samuel–a dedicated child–a child of many prayers–“asked of the Lord–lent into his service.” If there were more Hannahs, would there not be more Samuels? If thou wouldest have, Christian Mother, thy child a Samuel or an Augustine, be thyself a Hannah or a Monica! The child of thy prayers–of thy vows–of thy tears–will be in the Lord’s best time the child of thy praises, thy rejoicings, thy richest consolation. Yet thy faith will not end with the dedication of thy child. Lemuel–the son of her vows–his mother taught him. And such is the practical habit of godliness! Faith in vowing quickens diligence in teaching. The child truly consecrated will be “brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

But in order to be such a mother, the cultural catechisms of femininity and motherhood must be abandoned. While we know intellectually that it is fiction, many women of the West are catechized from childhood into seeing themselves as Disney princesses, and the culture at large does not hinder those thoughts, for it repeatedly gives us counsel such as: “if Mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy” and “happy wife; happy life.” The message of it all is that Mom is the princess, and everything revolves around her. As we will see next week, that is a twisted version of what Scripture presents ought to be. Yes, the mother is the center and heart of the home. Yes, a kingly husband will treat her like a queen. However, we call the godly wife and mother the homemaker because she is daily giving her strength to build up her husband and children.

CONCERNING WOMEN // VERSE 3

The wisdom that Lemuel’s mother taught him on how a king to conduct himself can be divided into three categories: women, alcohol, and justice. First, in verse 3, she warns: Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.

This is a very sound warning for a mother to give to her son who is a king. Solomon was one of the greatest and wealthiest kings to ever live, but in 1 Kings 11:3-4, we read:

He had 700 wives, who were princesses, and 300 concubines. And his wives turned away his heart. For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.

Interestingly, the Septuagint says to not give women your wealth, and while that can be a meaning of the word chayil, it more often refers to one’s vigor, vitality, and even moral character, as we shall observe in the weeks ahead. Thus, understanding this verse as a warning against destructive sexuality is best. Indeed, this counsel fits right along with the standard belief of the ancient world that a man does, in fact, give away some of his vigor every time he sows his seed. The ubiquity of pornography and the overall feminization of society seem to support that thought.

Indeed, that seems to have been the plan. Mallory Millet wrote an article for the Front Page Magazine about her experience at a meeting in 1969 with a group of women who would form the National Organization of Women. She writes:

We gathered at a large table as the chairperson opened the meeting with a back-and-forth recitation, like a Litany, a type of prayer done in Catholic Church. But now it was Marxism, the Church of the Left, mimicking religious practice:

“Why are we here today?” she asked.

“To make revolution,” they answered.

“What kind of revolution?” she replied.

“The Cultural Revolution,” they chanted.

“And how do we make Cultural Revolution?” she demanded.

“By destroying the American family!” they answered.

“How do we destroy the family? she came back.

“By destroying the American Patriarch,” they cried exuberantly.

“And how do we destroy the American Patriarch?” she replied.

“By taking away his power!”

“How do we do that?”

“By destroying monogamy!” they shouted.

“How can we destroy monogamy?”

Their answer left me dumbstruck, breathless, disbelieving my ears. Was I on planet earth? Who were these people?

“By promoting promiscuity, eroticism, prostitution, and homosexuality!” they resounded.

They proceeded with a long discussion on how to advance these goals by establishing The National Organization of Women. It was clear they desired nothing less than the utter destruction of Western society. The upshot was the only way to do this was “to invade every American institution. Every one must be permeated with “The Revolution”: The media, the educational system, universities, high schools, K-12, school boards, etc.,; then, the judiciary, the legislatures, the executive branches and even the library system.

She goes on to say that she thought it was all absurd and laughable when she first heard their plans, but, of course, here we are. While the greatest need of every time period is to proclaim the gospel, each point in history carries unique conflicts and trials. The early church wrestled over the doctrine of Christ, the Reformation fought over authority and salvation, and the grand battleground before us today revolves around anthropology, often particularly upon manhood and womanhood. Indeed, our present society has been structured to overturn and overthrow true masculinity and femininity. So, multiplying wives and having a harem does exactly what she says, it destroys kings.

But notice that Lemuel’s mother does not have an unhealthy notion of no woman being good enough for her son. She will use the same word for strength (chayil) again in verse 10 when she begins to describe the kind of wife that he should search diligently for, which the ESV translates as the excellent (chayil) wife. Indeed, the bulk of this chapter is given to that description. No, Lemuel’s mother longed for him to find a wife that would multiply the strength that he gave to her. Giving his vigor to such a woman would be far from a waste.

CONCERNING STRONG DRINK // VERSES 4-7

Next, Lemuel’s mother counsels him concerning alcohol:

It is not for kings to drink wine,
it is not for rulers to take strong drink,
lest they drink and forget what has been decreed
and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.

Of course, alcohol is not innately sinful, only the abuse of alcohol is, but these verses certainly suggest that wholesale abstinence is especially beneficial for rulers. As with the previous verse, this ought to be common sense, but history plainly displays the abuse of alcohol, especially by those in positions of authority. A king, these verses say, has need for being above the mentally diminishing effects of alcohol. Every decision that a king makes is of the utmost importance; therefore, it is foolish for him to be intoxicated with strong drink.

As with most proverbs within this book, we should draw a larger principle of temperance or self-control from this verse. Caffeine, food, and entertainment should likewise be consumed in moderation. While these things may not have the dramatically intoxicating effects that alcohol does, they do still affect our neuro-chemistry and should be used wisely.

Indeed, since ADHD is such an apparent epidemic, particularly in boys, can we at least begin to consider what role food coloring, refined sugars, and screen time have to play in it? We know that each has a negative effect on our brain chemistry, especially upon our ability to focus. Whenever our children are finally handed a smartphone, we are placing Vanity Fair in their hands and giving them constant access to greater entertainment and harems than Solomon could have even dreamed of. So, unless we and our children are wiser than Solomon, we should give much, much thought to how we are intentionally shaping our children’s focus and self-control while they are still under our roof.

But, someone may say, if I cut back on sweets and screen time, my kids will have a meltdown. Exactly, they are already becoming junkies who need their next fix. Being focused and having self-control are never easy, and kids are no different. But one of the keys to successful parenting is to abandon entirely any hint of “do what I say, not what I do.” Pushing a box with a string is almost impossible, but pulling it is quite doable. If you are addicted to caffeine, sweets, or screens, lead by example in fighting for self-control. Be open, within reason, with your kids about your own struggles, and pray together for the Spirit to make your whole household more like Christ.

Verses 6-7 fall under both the second and third category:

Give strong drink to the one who is perishing,
and wine to those in bitter distress;
let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.

Rather than reveling alcohol, he should give it to those who are suffering, for palliative comfort.

Some have been scandalized by these verses and argued that the Bible could not possibly be recommending the poor be given alcohol. Instead, they say that these verses are speaking sarcastically. However, that is exactly what these verses are saying. Of course, alcohol can be abused, but it was also the primary anesthetic for most of history. Today, pain killers are abused constantly, yet we are thankful for them following surgery or injury.

Bridges writes:

Give strong drink to him that is ready to perish; as the Samaritan gave it to the wounded traveler; as Paul prescribed it for the “infirmities” of his beloved son in the faith. Many a sinking spirit may be revived, and forget his misery under a well-timed restorative. The rule therefore of love and self-denial is–instead of wasting that upon thyself, the indulgence of appetite, which will only debase thy nature; see that thou dispense thy luxuries among those, who really require them.

CONCERNING JUSTICE // VERSES 8-9

Having already exhorted concern for the poor, the oracle now turns fully upon the third category, justice:

Open your mouth for the mute,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
Open your mouth, judge righteously,
defend the rights of the poor and needy.

In Romans 13, Paul notes that all earthly authorities have been instituted by God in order to enact His justice upon the earth, and it ought to be the aim of everyone in a place of governance to use their authority to do just this. Who better to be a voice of the mute than the king? Who better to defend the rights of the poor than him?

Now notice that she is simply calling him to lend his voice for those who are voiceless, to use his power to let them be heard, so that their rights will not be ignored. She is not calling for him to twist justice for their sake. Lewis noted that “mercy, detached from justice, grows unmerciful.” And that is what we are witnessing today under the philosophy of cultural Marxism. It is under this current system that the greatest victim of oppression has the loudest cultural voice. But while the poor need to have their rights defended and voices heard, God also commanded Israel not to “be partial to a poor man in his lawsuit” (Exodus 23:3). Although human justice cannot be altogether impartial, that ought to be our aim.

Let me also give this word of counsel. Because the internet gives us the illusion of having digital omniscience, we can become so flooded with the needs and the suffering in the world that we shut down and do nothing. However, we should take comfort in the fact that we are not God, and we simply cannot equally care for everything that is worthy of our care. We should do something to alleviate suffering, and trust God with the rest.

SONS OF THE KING

While this passage is fascinating, what does it have to do with us? Lemuel was a king. We are not. Lemuel needed such guidance because he had a whole kingdom that he was responsible for. We do not.

While no one who reads this may be a literal king, we certainly ought to take this divine counsel to heart because we are called to be kingly men. We can safely assume that Lemuel’s mother taught him this oracle while he was still only an heir to his throne. But are we not also heirs? Of course, not any earthly king but the King of kings Himself! In Galatians 4:4-7, Paul tells us:

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons. And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God.

And since we are co-heirs with Christ, 2 Timothy 2:12 encourages us, saying, “if we endure, we will also reign with him…” And in 1 Corinthians 6:2-3, Paul gives us a hint at what that reign will look like by saying,

Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life!

Thus, as adopted children of the High King of heaven, we have much more reason to heed the words of this oracle than even earthly kings. Perhaps this is why the qualifications for elders in the church bear resemblance to this oracle. Here is 1 Timothy 3:2-7, and you read it take note that elders are simply called to model these traits, but all Christians should strive for them:

Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.

Or most simply, we can return to the fruit of the Spirit. The man who is loving, joyful, peaceful, patience, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled will naturally walk in the counsel of this oracle. He will give his strength not to women but to his wife. And if he is not married, then he gives himself fully to the kingdom of God as Paul did. He will be self-controlled with alcohol as well as any other substance. He will give thought to those who are less fortunate than himself and will care for the orphans and widows. Indeed, if we truly want to transform our culture and society, let us begin here, praying for the Spirit to strengthen us to display the image of our King through our character and conduct.

And the Spirit will produce these behaviors in us because Christ has sent Him for the purpose of constantly making us more like the Lord Jesus. Indeed, let us conclude by fixing our eyes upon Him and how He is the perfect fulfillment of our passage. Even though Jesus created Mary and Joseph, Luke 2:51 tells us that He “was submissive to them,” honoring and listening to His father and mother. He also rightly said that He was greater than Solomon (Matthew 12:42). For Solomon’s gave his strength to his many wives and was led astray from the LORD, but Jesus gave His strength for His bride and now brings her pure and radiant back to God. While Adam, Eve, and all their children have fallen again and again into the lures of temptation, Christ exercised perfect and complete self-control, rejecting the direct temptation of Satan even after spending forty days without food or drink. He is also the just and righteous King, who came to save us even while we were in the destitution of our sins. Furthermore, He is our great mediator, opening His mouth to intercede for we are rightly left mute in the presence of the Holy One.

Most importantly, the bread and cup before us are a perpetual sign and reminder that He is far mightier than any earthly king. A good king will give what he can to alleviate or at least numb the suffering of his people, but Christ is the perfect king who bore Himself the suffering of His people. And He does not merely offer us wine to help us forget our poverty and our misery; He gives us the living water of Himself, bring us out of death in sin and into life everlasting in Him. May the Spirit mold us more each day into His likeness, readying us for the day when we see our King face to face.