But the fruit of the Spirit is
love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control;
against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22–23 ESV

In studying the fruit that the Spirit produces in those who have faith in Christ, we have the final two of the nine virtues that Paul lists before us: gentleness and self-control. Alongside love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness, these are graces that will grow in the regenerate heart of those who can say with the Apostle Paul: ” I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me” (Galatians 2:20). As we shall see, Christ perfectly lived a life of gentleness and self-control, and through His indwelling Spirit, He empowers us to follow, however faltering, in His footsteps. Indeed, as Douglas Kelly notes, the fruit of the Spirit is the characteristics of God Himself being manifested in His people.

But even though these virtues can only come from the working of the Spirit within us, Paul goes on to say in verses 24-25: “And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.” Thus, Paul clearly expects Christians to cultivate “such things” in our lives throughout our earthly pilgrimage. Yet before we can make that application, we must define our terms.

What does Paul mean by gentleness? The Greek word πραῢτης is often translated in other texts as meekness. Indeed, it is the same word that Jesus uses in the third Beatitude: “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5). Joel Beeke notes that it “does not refer to weakness but to an inward disposition of humility, peace, and strength that makes one slow to anger (Prov. 16:2).” Wilhelmus A Brakel gives this definition:

Meekness is the believer’s even-tempered disposition of heart which issues forth from union with God in Christ, consisting in self-denial and love for his neighbor. This results in having fellowship with his neighbor in an agreeable, congenial, and loving manner; in relinquishing his rights; in enduring the violation of his rights without becoming angry, being forgiving, and in rewarding it with good. (4:79)

Lloyd-Jones puts it like this:

Meekness is essentially a true view of oneself, expressing itself in attitude and conduct with respect to others. It is therefore two things. It is my attitude toward myself; and it is an expression of that in my relationship to others… A man can never be meek unless he has seen himself as a vile sinner… The meek man is not proud of himself, he does not in any sense glory in himself. (68-69)

These definitions help us make sense of what Moses meant whenever, under inspiration of the Holy Spirit, he wrote of himself: “Now the man Moses was very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth” (Numbers 12:3). Since this is Holy Scripture, we know that Moses was displaying a kind of false humility nor was he humble bragging. Rather, Moses’ meekness was precisely what made him such a mighty prophet of Yahweh. Moses knew his own frailty and sinfulness, and he did not seek the aggrandizement of his own name. he was content to be God’s servant and to also serve God’s grumbling people as their earthly leader. Whenever questioned or confronted, Moses was quick to rely upon the LORD. But, of course, even Moses did not display perfect meekness. In Numbers 20, Moses disobeyed God by striking the rock rather than speaking to it and by apparently placing himself alongside Yahweh, as if they were equals.

The Apostle Paul is another wonderful example of meekness. Now that may sound a bit absurd since Paul was able to readily give his law-abiding credentials in Philippians 3:4-6. Furthermore, he is not often the first example that springs to mind whenever we think of gentleness, especially in places like Galatians! But like Moses, what made Paul so great was how lowly he thought of himself and how highly he thought of God and God’s people. It was no rhetorical fluff that Paul called himself the chief of sinners. He glimpsed how unworthy he was of God’s grace as former persecutor of the church, and it fueled his life and ministry. Indeed, instead of shaming the apostle into weakness, the apostle’s meekness (his knowledge of his own sin and reliance upon the grace of God) gave him tremendous other-worldly strength to endure the sufferings that he faced and to be as bold for the truth as he was. For example, he was able to defend his apostleship in 1:11-2:10 because he was not concerned simply about his own reputation or respectability. Instead, he cared for the truth of the gospel and the souls of the Galatians.

Of course, as we said earlier, Jesus is the only perfect example of meekness. Indeed, Jesus tells us to learn meekness from Him in Matthew 11:29 (but let’s ready that verse with 28 and 30 as well):

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

We see that truth in every aspect of Jesus’ life. Although He is the eternal Word, He becomes flesh and dwells among us. In doing so, He was not born into a royal palace of the highest order but into a stable and laid in manger. He grew up in Nazareth, which was as close to nowhere was you could get. He ministered chiefly in the unimportant region of Galilee. He was followed around by fishermen and a tax collector. He ate with sinners and prostitutes and called the religious leaders hypocrites.

But the most powerful example of Jesus’ meekness is His crucifixion. Two moments happen at Jesus’ arrest in Gethsemane that ought to inform how we read the whole passion narrative. First, in John 18:6, Jesus identifies Himself to the soldiers by saying, “I am,” which is clearly meant to make us think of Yahweh’s self-revelation to Moses in Exodus 3 as well as all of Jesus’ other I am statements in John’s Gospel. In response to these two words, “they drew back and fell to the ground.” As the ESV Study Bible notes, “Falling to the ground is a common reaction to divine revelation (Ezek. 1:28; 44:4; Dan. 2:46; 8:18; 10:9; Acts 9:4; 22:7; 26:14; Rev. 1:17; 19:10; 22:8).”

Second, in Matthew 26:53, after Peter cuts the ear off one of the guards, Jesus told Peter this: “Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father, and he will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels?” Given what two angels did to Sodom and Gomorrah, 72,000 angels would surely have been the end of the earth entirely.

Both of these verses give a mysterious glimpse into what was really happening during Christ’s crucifixion. Jesus was no passive and unwilling victim; He actively allowed Himself to be put to death. He was in control of the whole situation. Yet still He humbled Himself to the point of death, even death on a cross. There will never be a greater picture of meekness than that.

Now, you may have already noticed that our other virtue clearly goes hand-in-hand with this one. Self-control is a key aspect of meekness. Yet meekness is also essential for true self-control. But I’m getting ahead of myself. First, we must ask: what is self-control?

The word is ἐνκράτεια, which is rare in the New Testament. Elsewhere, Paul speaks of self-control, but he uses other words to communicate that idea. Although etymological roots can often lead us astray when trying to understand what a particular word means, it is a useful endeavor here. It is a compound word with the root being κράτος, which is often used in New Testament doxologies to ascribe power, sovereignty, or dominion to God. The prefix εν- turns the focus inward. It is self-dominion, being able to exercise lordship over oneself.

Indeed, the Greek write Isocrates argues that a man should exercise self-control because it would be shameful for him to be a lord over his servants but not himself:

Practice self-control in all the things by which it is shameful for the soul to be controlled, namely, gain, temper, pleasure, and pain. You will attain such self-control if you regard as gainful those things which will increase your reputation and not those which will increase your wealth; if you manage your temper towards those who offend against you as you would expect others to do if you offended against them; if you govern your pleasures on the principle that it is shameful to rule over one’s servants and yet be a slave to one’s desires; and if, when you are in trouble, you contemplate the misfortunes of others and remind yourself that you are human.

Yet George Bethune notes that Aristotle distinguished between self-control as temperance or as continence. By continence, he meant simple denial of a particular indulgence, but by temperance, he meant “the healthful regulation of our desires and appetites themselves, preventing their excess.” Bethune concludes from this distinction:

The one, it is easy to see, may be the result of virtue or not; the other is a virtue itself. A thief, who abstains from intoxication merely that he may more securely commit crime; a prize-fighter, who denies himself indulgences while training for the ring; an invalid, who fears inroads to excess on his life; or one who refrains only from a dread of worldly disgrace, can scarcely be called virtuous, though he may exert some self-command. It is in him one selfish principle overcoming another that is weaker.

Given that Paul was able to quote more obscure pagan writers like Epimenides and Aratus, he was surely familiar with Aristotle and the like. Indeed, I suspect that Paul might have intentionally used ἐνκράτεια because he knew that his readers would draw such connections. After all, Socrates says of self-control: “Should not every man hold self-control to be the foundation of all virtue, and first lay this foundation firmly in his soul? For what without this can learn any good or practice it worthily? Or what man that is the slave of his pleasures is not in an evil plight body and soul alike?”

But even though the wisest of pagans were able to see the great value and worth of self-control, they were nonetheless helpless to truly practice it. Of course, any Roman would have considered it a severe breach of this virtue for any man to commit adultery with another man’s wife, but they also viewed brothels simply a necessary part of life. And Paul knew, through divine revelation, what they could know through human reason and intellect alone: self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, not a work of the flesh. Self-control is a grace and a gift that certainly must be cultivated but cannot be truly produced by the natural man. It must come from God Himself.

Interestingly, self-dominion comes through submission to the lordship of Another. Or perhaps we should say that we are given the grace of lording over ourselves only by first confessing Christ as our Lord. Indeed, we receive the indwelling Spirit only through believing in the Lord Jesus Christ, and it is the Spirit who gives us new hearts a desire for godly temperance rather than merely worldly continence, for as Beeke notes, “Christlike temperance is seeking first God, his kingdom, and his righteousness above the pleasures and comforts of this world” (863).

Is that not fitting? Christ tells us that whoever loses his life for His sake and for the gospel will save it (Mark 8:35). He said that whoever would be first must be last (Mark 9:35) and that the greatest in the kingdom of God is the one who serves everyone (Mark 10:43-44). We should not be surprised that control first comes through surrender. And this is also why true self-control requires meekness, which means seeing ourselves as we truly are. For example, David was able to refrain from doing harm to Saul because he really did see himself as nothing more than a dog to whom much divine favor had been shown. He then notably did not show restraint toward his desire for Bathsheba after he had finally been crowned as king and was secure from all his enemies at last. His failure to cultivate meekness even as king led to his devastating lack of self-control.

Now that we have considered these two virtues, allow me to conclude with five considerations for cultivating gentleness and self-control.

First, consider what meekness and self-control are not. Specifically, meekness is not being spineless, and self-control is not being stoic. Moses, David, Paul, and Jesus were certainly not weak men. Indeed, they were fierce and mighty for the truth and for God’s glory. Yet when it came to themselves, they each humbly and patiently endured all manner of slander and insults that were hurled against them. Let us follow their example.

Likewise, restraining our passions and desires through self-control does not mean that we ought to act like emotionless robots. Indeed, self-control is not the absence of desire but the tempering of desire, and without any kind of desire there can be no true self-control. Therefore, we should not desire to be free entirely from all passions and desires; rather, as Paul says in verse 24, we should count them as having been crucified in Christ. By implication, let them also be raised to new life in Him.

Second, consider the great need of these virtues in the life of the Christian, particular in our present day. The polarization that we all feel is not a result of simple misinformation, as if we all could get together in the same room to talk and would discover that we have all been misunderstanding one another all along. The truth is that there is a real war of theologies being waged behind all of the headlines, and as with all wars, one side must eventually concede and declare the other victor. Western Christianity as a whole has been slow to grasp the direness of our situation and so the response has often been spineless concession. However, as the tides have begun to shift, we must take care that we do not use the seriousness of our cultural moment as an excuse for foregoing meekness. Remember that Paul was actually beaten and stoned for the sake of the gospel, yet he still wrote these words in 2 Timothy 2:24-26:

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness [πραῢτητι]. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

Of course, this includes interactions via text, email, Facebook, or any other modern platform of communication.

As for self-control, there is an illustration that Thomas Watson used in his book on the Lord’s Prayer that has always stayed with me. He says,

Beard, in his Theatre, speaks of one who had a room richly hung with fair pictures, he had most delicious music, he had the rarest beauties, he had all the candies, and curious preserves of the confectioner, to gratify his senses with pleasure, and swore he would live one week as a god, though he were sure to damned to hell the next day.

That dream of living like a god for a week is less than our present reality. We not only have fair pictures; we have moving pictures which we set in the place traditional reserved for household gods as the focal point of the home. And rightly do we give them such a place of honor, for they give us access to more entertainment than we can possibly consume in our lifetime. When it comes to music, we no longer need to go to the orchestra or hire a string quartet; we can play anything we want on Spotify. And we won’t even go into the candies that we have. The point is that that man’s dream of pleasures for which he would gladly be eternally damned are now our daily life. We live far more comfortably than any ancient or Medieval king.

This isn’t to say that we should feel guilty about the great comforts that we enjoy. No, we should receive them with great thanksgiving to our Father who is the great Giver of every good gift. But we should keep in mind that “everyone to whom much is given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more” (Luke 12:48). Because we have been given much, much self-control is now required. We each have the luxuries of kings; therefore, we each face the temptations that come alongside those luxuries.

For example, it should not surprise us that obesity is one of our nation’s chief health concerns. Many kings were also fat with the abundance before them, but this is the first time that such abundance has been available to the majority of the populace. Nearly all the generations before us have regularly known the pain of not having enough nourishment to survive. Continual abundance is a unique temptation that still relatively new to us. Wouldn’t it be a wonderful testimony to our society that is obsessed with fitness if we could point people away from dieting fads and toward the Spirit and the fruit of self-control? I believe it would be a wonderful real-world example of seeking first the kingdom and everything else being added.

Similarly, if Solomon’s heart was turned away from the LORD by his many wives, it is not surprising that so many now wrestle with the temptation of having a digital harem in their pocket. Truly, it takes one who is greater than Solomon to conquer such ubiquitous temptations, and that is precisely what we have with the indwelling Spirit: Christ living in us. Encourage anyone you know who is in the grips of pornography to cling to Christ and to rely upon the Spirit.

Third, consider the beauty of a church where meekness and self-control flourish. When it comes to self-control, how many fights and schisms in churches could have been prevented by simply controlling the tongue? But more broadly, it seems that most conflicts have a lack of meekness at their root. After all, even unavoidable and necessary conflicts over the truth and doctrine of Scripture begin with some exerting themselves as authorities over God’s Word rather than submitting humbly to it. Paul expresses the attitude of meekness in Philippians 2:1-4:

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

He then goes on to set forth Christ as the great example of counting others as more significant than ourselves, encouraging us to have the mind of Christ, which we do have through His indwelling Spirit. Indeed, with Paul’s great Christ hymn of verses 5-11 in mind, consider Lloyd-Jones’ comments on the mind of the meek Christian:

The man who is meek is not even sensitive about himself. He is not always watching himself and his own interests. He is not always on the defensive. We all know about this, do we not? Is it not one of the greatest curses in life as a result of the fall—this sensitivity about self? We spend the whole of our lives watching ourselves. But when a man becomes meek he has finished with all that; he no longer worries about himself and what other people say. To be truly meek means we no longer protect ourselves, because we see there is nothing worth defending. So we are not on the defensive; all that is gone. The man who is truly meek never pities himself, he is never sorry for himself. He never talks to himself and says, ‘You are having a hard time, how unkind these people are not to understand you.’ He never thinks: ‘How wonderful I really am, if only other people gave me a chance.’ Self-pity! What hours and years we waste in this! But the man who has become meek has finished with all that. To be meek, in other words, means that you have finished with yourself altogether, and you come to see you have no rights or deserts at all. You come to realize that nobody can harm you. John Bunyan puts it perfectly. ‘He that is down need fear no fall.’ When a man truly sees himself, he knows nobody can say anything about him that is too bad. You need not worry about what men may say or do; you know you deserve it all and more. Once again, therefore, I would define meekness like this. The man who is truly meek is the one who is amazed that God and man can think of him as well as they do and treat him as well as they do. (69)

What law is needed to regulate such an attitude? What conflict can long thrive in a church if this is the disposition of its members? Pride is the fuel that feeds the fires of conflict, but they are smothered into smoke by those who are gentle in spirit.

We should also show kindness and charity in our evaluation of one another’s display of self-control, since we all have unique temptations and constitutions. For example, alcohol is of complete unimportance to me. I can enjoy the occasional drink, but that is typically once or twice a year. And it rarely even crosses my mind. For many others, however, alcohol is the great dragon that they have been at war with most of their life. Although I may not be able to relate to the allure of alcohol, I can certainly find similar dragons in my own heart, and that ought to be how we relate to one another. Rather than thinking we are holier than such a brother or sister simply because we do not struggle with that particular temptation, we should consider our deepest-rooted snares.  

Fourth, consider the benefits both in their life and in the life to come. The day-to-day benefits of self-control are evident even, as we have seen, to pagans. Proverbs 25:28 says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” Because all sin is immediately pleasurable in some manner, a lack of self-control means becoming sin’s buffet. If we cannot tell ourselves “no,” we are doomed to fall into sin’s trap… over and over again.

In contrast, Proverbs 16:32 says, “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” Again, as even the noblest of the pagans noticed, what good is it to rule a city if you cannot first rule yourself? Self-control means conquering our first and greatest enemy: self. Such a man is truly free. He is free from himself, and in bearing the fruit of the Spirit, he is free from the law.

The present benefits of gentleness or meekness are less obvious. In fact, there are likely to be no immediate benefits to being meek. To be gentle and lowly like our Lord is likely to result in our becoming men and women of sorrow, who are well acquainted with grief, just as He was. But the Christ hymn of Philippians 2 does not end with Christ crucified; it ends with everyone confessing Christ as Lord. So it is with those who are in Christ. His promise is that the meek will inherit the earth. That is because the earth and all its fulness are His, and we are in Christ, as His treasured possession. Our Lord has set infinite joy before us, but we must, for the present, take up our cross and follow Him unto death, holding fast to these words: “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Romans 8:18).

Finally, as the author of Hebrews says, consider Jesus. A Brakel gives very practical advice, saying:

Always hold before you the example of the meek Jesus. To that end read the gospels frequently, continually taking note of the manner in which the Lord Jesus manifested His meekness. Impress this upon your heart in such a manner, so that, so to speak, the very nature of it is transferred unto you. And if something occurs which is unsettling, allow your thoughts to turn to the gospels to ascertain whether or not the Lord Jesus has been in such a situation and how He conducted Himself under those circumstances, or how He would have conducted Himself in such a situation—and then follow His example. (90)

But as necessary as it is to consider the example of our Lord, who is perfectly meek and self-controlled, let us never fail to consider Him as our Savior. He is the eternal Word who endured the wrath of the Father in our place. As we marvel at the goodness of Jesus and strive to walk in His Spirit, may the benediction of Hebrews 13:20-21 be true of us:

Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, our Lord Jesus, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.