Psalm 45 is a love song. But it may not be the kind of love song that we are expecting. One commentator writes:

This psalm is a hymn celebrating a royal wedding. As its title says, it is a love song. The term translated “love” (Hb. yedidot) indicates deep personal attachment but is not in itself a term for romantic love (it lies behind the word rendered “lovely”; e.g., 84:1). While we may readily imagine that such love is relevant to the context of a wedding, the overall focus of the song is on the grandeur of the occasion and the prospects of blessing to the people through the children that will be born to this royal marriage. (EEC, Vol V, 253)

In other words, when the psalmist tells us that it is a love song, we should not immediately think of romantic or erotic love. Indeed, the word for that kind of love in Greek is eros, which goes beyond mere sexual desire. Instead, the Septuagint uses the word agape, which is divine, covenantal love. This psalm is more about agape than eros.

Psalm 45 is a wedding song that sets our eyes upon the great king and his marriage to his beautiful and gloriously adorned bride. It divides neatly into four sections. Verse 1 serves as the introduction. Verses 2-9 celebrate the beauty and goodness of the king. Verses 10-15 rejoice in the beauty of the bride and the royal procession as she follows the king into his palace on their wedding day. Finally, verses 16-17 reflect on the enduring blessing that flows from the bridegroom and his bride to all generations.

MY HEART OVERFLOWS // VERSE 1

My heart overflows with a pleasing theme;
I address my verses to the king;
my tongue is the pen of a ready scribe.

Many commentators have wondered whether the Sons of Korah had a particular king in mind when writing this psalm. Indeed, were they celebrating a particular wedding with this song? We will never know for sure. They may certainly have been reflecting on the grandeur of Solomon’s wedding or one of the other later kings. But under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, these words clearly and intentionally reach beyond any earthly ruler. They plainly describe the Messianic King.

James Johnston notes:

In fact, the king in this wedding is none other than the Messiah, our Lord Jesus Christ. This glorious description could not fit anyone else. He was introduced in Psalm 2 as God’s great king, and the Sons of Korah sing to him here. This is confirmed by the writer of Hebrews, who applies this psalm directly to Jesus Christ (Hebrews 1:8). Just as previous psalms have described Christ’s suffering, faith, and victory, Psalm 45 describes his marriage to his people. The bride of Psalm 45 is the church.

In that sense, Psalm 45 is the inverse of how we will approach Song of Songs in two weeks. The Song of Songs is a love song as well, but much of it is about eros, celebrating the passionate love between a husband and a wife. Indeed, it paints a picture of how marital intimacy is a glimpse of what we lost in Eden.

But Paul tells us that the great mystery of marriage is that it ultimately points to Christ and the church. So, while the Song of Songs is about our earthly marriages, it also lifts our eyes toward the great, everlasting Marriage.

Psalm 45 does the exact opposite. It is plainly about the eternal Marriage between Christ and His church. But from this can flow numerous implications for our earthly marriages as we strive to imitate it.

THE MOST HANDSOME OF THE SONS OF MEN // VERSES 2-9

Verses 2-9 focus on the King. We can draw three big characteristics from this section. The King is beautiful (and good). The King is mighty. And the King is divine.

The King Is Beautiful

The beauty of the King is expressed clearly at both the beginning and end of these verses.

You are the most handsome of the sons of men;
grace is poured upon your lips;
therefore God has blessed you forever…
your robes are all fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia.
From ivory palaces stringed instruments make you glad;
daughters of kings are among your ladies of honor;
at your right hand stands the queen in gold of Ophir. (vv. 2, 8-9)

Here we encounter an idea that was deeply imbedded in the ancient mind: goodness and beauty are often intertwined. Indeed, in Greek, the word kalos means both good and beautiful. Beauty reflects order, and order reflects goodness. Ugliness, by contrast, was associated with chaos and disorder.

Hebrew thought shared that basic premise. There was an expectation that what was outwardly beautiful should correspond to what is inwardly good. And Scripture often plays with that exception by either fulfilling it or subverting it. David, for instance, is described as ruddy and handsome, and his outward appearance matches his heart. Joseph is another such example. Saul, too, is handsome, but his outward beauty is at odds with his disfigured loves. Thus, Scripture does not teach that physical beauty guarantees moral goodness.

The King here is certainly both. He is handsome and full of grace. His beauty reflects His character.

The King Is Mighty

Indeed, notice in verses 3-5 what makes this King beautiful:

In your majesty ride out victoriously
for the cause of truth and meekness and righteousness.
Let your right hand teach you awesome deeds.
Your arrows are sharp in the heart of the king’s enemies;
the peoples fall under you.

This King is a warrior, mighty in arms. Interestingly, in the previous psalm, the sons of Korah declared that they put no trust in sword or bow. What is the difference?

This is no ordinary king. This is Christ, the King of kings. David did not trust in his own sword but in God alone. This King does trust in His sword because He is God.

So, this King is a warrior, armed with sword and bow, but notice carefully what he fights for: the cause of truth and meekness and righteousness. He is not bloodthirsty, nor does he delight in violence. He loves truth, justice, and meekness. Verse 7 says, You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness.

I have two favorite characters in literature. Both are from Lord of the Rings. The woman is Eowyn. The man is Faramir. Faramir is the epitome of a kingly man, even though he is not king. He is noble and faithful. Some critics say that Tolkien made him too perfect, but I think that’s precisely the point. He is a character that is meant to be imitated. When he meets Frodo and Sam, he tells them this line, which perfectly captures the King of Psalm 45’s warfare:

I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness,
nor the arrow for its swiftness,
nor the warrior for his glory.
I love only that which they defend.

We can be glad that that is the heart of our King. Christ will one day vanquish His enemies with the word of His mouth, but our God is not bloodthirsty, even in His wrath. He is measured and precise in His judgments, striking down the wicked to preserve the righteous.

Verses 6-7 give people the greatest pause:

Your throne, O God, is forever and ever.
The scepter of your kingdom is a scepter of uprightness.
You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;
therefore God, your God, has anointed you
with the oil of gladness beyond your companions.

Notice the tension there. In verse 6, the King is directly addressed as God, but in verse 7, God is spoken of as the King’s God. So, which is it? Is the King God, or does the King serve God?

The answer, of course, is yes. Again, this is no mere earthly king. Hebrews 1:8 quotes these verses and applies them directly to Jesus. He is God, yet also the Servant of Yahweh. John’s opening verse captures this same tension:

In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.

Christ was eternally with God, meaning that He is a distinct person, yet He also is God. That is not a contradiction; it is the mystery of the Trinity. God is one in essence but three in persons. So, we do not need to stumble over these verses. They point us to Christ. He is the King of beauty, the King of justice, and only God-King.

Applications for Husbands

Since husbands are called to imitate Christ in His love for the church, let us take these three points and consider how they might apply to us. Since Christ our King is good and beautiful, we can ask ourselves: Are we striving to imitate Him? Can your family testify of you that grace is poured upon your lips? Are you the kind of man whose speech is marked by grace?

We could also consider the aspect of beauty. Often we only think of considering the beauty of women, but this psalm rejoices in the handsomeness of the King. Are you striving to be handsome in the eyes of your wife? This is first and foremost be cultivating a spiritual beauty, but we should not neglect the physical.  Are you disciplined with your appearance or, especially with men, how you carry yourself? Paul calls wives to respect their husbands and submit to them. Are you making that command easier for he to obey by being a man who is clearly worthy of respect? Are you cultivating a kingly dignity and competence that is matched with genuine humility?

Second, the King is mighty, wielding a sword and arrows. In this life, the church advances through the gospel, not violence. Indeed, think of how the sword and arrows are metaphorically applied in Scripture as Scripture and children respectively. If we want to make a lasting impact for the better in this world, this is the means that God has ordained: wield the sword of the Spirit well and raise up arrows. Paul, of course, had no physical children, but he had numerous spiritual children, such as Timothy and Titus. So, whether married or single, are you girding yourself with the Scriptures and raising up the next generation?

There is a more physical application to be noted as well. Men should strive to be fit and healthy enough to properly care for their families. The best motivation for exercising regularly I’ve ever heard is this question: Could you carry your wife a significant distance in an emergency? That question makes physical discipline into a tangible expression of love. I should be physically prepared to help my family (and others) should the situation require it.

Third, the King is divine. We cannot imitate the divinity of Christ, but Scripture does call us to be godly in our character. Husbands should ask whether godliness is the defining flavor of their home. When people see you, do they see a glimpse of Christ? More importantly, does your family see it? This is why Paul lists household faithfulness as a qualification for elders. A man can fool many people for a long time, but his family truly knows him. His character will eventually be revealed at home.

ALL GLORIOUS IS THE PRINCESS // VERSES 10-15

Now the psalm turns to the bride. Verses 10-12 describe the bride to us, while verses 13-15 describe the royal procession. In these first verses, we have a fourfold description of the King’s Bride: she listens, she forsakes, she is desired, and she submits.

The Bride Hears

Hear, O daughter, and consider, and incline your ear.

Even for an Israelite hearing this psalm for the first time, this language gives an important clue that this is no historical queen but is the people of God personified as the King’s Bride. After all, notice the opening words: hear, o daughter. They reflect the Shema: “Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one.”

James Johnston rightly notes that hearing God’s voice is the defining mark of God’s people. Jesus Himself affirms this whenever He says: “I am the good shepherd. I lay down my life for the sheep. My sheep hear my voice.”

But how do we hear God’s voice? Not through mystical impressions upon the heart or gut feelings. We hear God through His Word. First and foremost, God’s people are those who listen to His voice in His Scriptures. Is that you? Do you listen to God through the Bible? Do you desire to be the presence of your King?

The Bride Forsakes

Forget your people and your father’s house

Every marriage requires leaving and cleaving. Indeed, Genesis 2:24 gives us the biblical definition of marriage, since it is given before the Fall, affirmed by Jesus, and the repeated again by Paul.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother
and hold fast to his wife,
and the two shall become one flesh.

Before there is a union, there is a separation. A man leaves his father and mother to form a new household, as the does the woman. In Eden, God Himself is the first Father to give away a bride whenever He presents Eve to Adam.

Leaving is certainly frightening. A wedding is, in many ways, like death. It is a decisive transition from one life to another. And while you know something of what lies ahead, you cannot grasp it fully until you simply step into it. They both require trust. Will this covenant bring joy? Will my spouse be faithful? Will it end in sorrow?

Leaving father and mother and one’s people ought to be frightening. That is why Abraham’s faith to go to Canaan is still praised. That is why Jesus speaks in radical terms, saying, “Anyone who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.”

Of course, Jesus is not commanding a hatred of one’s family, but He is radically reorienting loyalty. Indeed, marriage does not cancel one’s responsibility to his or her parents. Paul says that a man who does not provide for his own family is worse than an unbeliever. Jesus likewise rebuked the Pharisees for using religious excuses for neglecting to provide for their parents. But marriage does redefine ultimate loyalty.

Here the Bride is called to leave her home because she is entering into covenant with Christ, who very name is Faithful and True. Yet how hesitant we are to surrender our sins and worldly desires in exchange for Him! The root of all sin is the suspicion that God is withholding good things from us. This began in the garden. The Vulgate calls Eden paradisum voluptatis, a voluptuous paradise, a paradise overflowing with pleasure and delight. Yet Adam and Eve sinned because they believed that God was keeping pleasure from them.

The great antidote for sin, therefore, is to truly believe Psalm 84:11: “no good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Sin has no foothold when Christ is treasured as beauty itself, as the source of all lasting pleasure, as the pearl of great price. This call, then, to forsake mother and father is a call for us to forsake our cherished sins and worldly loves because Christ is infinitely better.

The Bride Is Desired

and the king will desire your beauty.

What a staggering promise! If we forsake our old ways and set our eyes upon Christ, He will delight in us. He will find us beautiful. The deepest longing of every Christian is simply to hear Christ says, “Well done, good and faithful servant; enter into the joy of your master.” We long to know that He is pleased with us.

But the text goes further, saying that the King will desire His Bride’s beauty. The word for desire in Greek is epithumia, which is a neutral word for desire. When ordered rightly, such desire is the very flame of Yahweh. But when it is disordered, it becomes lust. But Christ’s desire is purely holy. He desires us because He Himself makes us beautiful. We come to Him stained and sullied, having given ourselves over to other lovers. But He cleanses us. Though our sin is scarlet, He washes us white as snow. And then He delights in the beauty that He forms in us.

The Bride Submits

Since he is your lord, bow to him.

God’s people submit to Him. They call Him and follow Him as Lord. That is our model for marriage because as Christ’s church, we all submit to Him as Lord. We follow where He leads.

Application for Wives

Before we move on to the wedding procession in verses 12-15, let us consider how these four characteristics of the Bride applies to our earthly marriages. First, the Bride listens her husband. Wives, do you truly listen to your husbands? We often think of listening as a duty that husbands must cultivate and that wives are naturally gifted in. But wives must learn to listen to their husbands as well.

Men are simple creatures; husbands receive love in three broad forms: respect, care, and intimacy. Of those three, respect is the most important. One of the clearest ways of showing respect is through genuinely listening and doing so without mockery, belittling, or ridicule. Although men often show their affection for one another through verbal barbs, few things cause a man to shut down faster than being belittled by a woman he loves.

Second, the Bride forsakes her father’s house. The application here is loyalty. Have you truly settled your primary allegiance with your spouse? Early in marriage, men seem to struggle most with leaving their mothers and cleaving to their wives. Later in marriage, however, the struggle shifts, and wives find it harder to keep their husbands above their children. That struggle is certainly understandable, but the question still stands: Does your spouse hold the highest loyalty in your household and beyond?

Third, the Bride is desired by the King. Men should hear this clearly: your wife wants to be desired. In marriage, that desire is not broken nor sinful. O’Donnell talks about three questions that he usually asks at men’s groups: Do you love your wife? Do you like your wife? Do you desire your wife? Most Christian men answer the first easily. But if desire is absent in marriage, that is a check-engine light. Something is off and needs attention.

Wives, knowing that the desire to be desired by your husband is a good thing, ask yourselves: What am I doing to be desirable to him? Do not leave that simply as his problem to handle. Consider what he likes, and let that impact how you dress, how you speak, how you show affection, etc. The impulse to be pleasing to your husband is a noble desire.

Finally, the Bride submits to the King. This is the posture that Scripture calls wives to take toward their husbands. 1 Peter 3 tells us that Sarah submitted to Abraham, calling him lord. If you haven’t read Genesis in a while, Abraham made a number of foolish and sinful decisions leading his wife. Yet Peter still commends Sarah because of her trust in God as she faithfully followed her husband. Indeed, God took care of Sarah. Her submission was not a naive trust in Abraham but a faithful confidence in Yahweh.

Indeed, we should note that biblical submission is not voicelessness. If we want a good model for submission, we can study how the Psalms teach us to speak to God as our Lord. In the Psalms, God gives His people freedom to express the full range of emotion: lament, confusion, joy, delight, and even complaint. Yet they never do so disrespectfully to the Lord. Wives should imitate that pattern. You ought to have the freedom to express the depth and complexity of your thoughts and emotions to your husband but always from a posture of respect.

Husbands, are you secure and stable enough to receive that? Can you, by the strength of the Spirit, be a ballast for her, so that she has the freedom to speak honestly without fear?

The Wedding Procession

Verses 12-15 focus on the wedding procession. Verse 12 talks about the people to Tyre bringing gifts. Tyre was one of the wealthiest cities in the ancient world, famous especially for its purple dye. Thus, this is a picture of nations coming to honor the King’s Bride, and it is God’s design for His church. God’s people may be persecuted now, but the day is coming when all nations will bring their wealth and glory to the church of God.

All glorious is the princess in her chamber,
with robes interwoven with gold.
In many-colored robes she is led to the king,
with her virgin companions following behind her.
With joy and gladness they are led along
as they enter the palace of the king.

We would do well to remember the imagery of these verses for our study of Song of Songs, which was very likely composed to be sung at weddings just like this one. Indeed, the bride walking to her husband with her unmarried companions helps us to understand the context for the primary refrain of the book: “Do not awaken love before its time.” [Indeed, we should note, therefore, that Song of Songs was primarily written to those who are not married.]

The Bride is led into the king’s chamber to consummate their marriage. She is protected, honored, desired, and united to Him. And that is where we are now as the church: in procession to our Bridegroom. By faith, we are already Christ’s Bride. But the day is coming when our faith shall be made sight. Christ will return physically, and He will consummate His kingdom, which He inaugurated with His first coming. On that day, He will bring His Bride His palace forever, the new heavens and the new earth.

We should also consider: Is this the aroma of beauty that the church is giving to the nations now? If we think that the church is fractured and broken beyond repair, we should take Lewis’ advice and read what has survived from our Christian brothers and sisters of the past. When you read Augustine, Athanasius, Dante, Milton, Bunyan, Owen, and the rest, you begin to notice how united the church really is in the great scheme of history.

REMEMBERED IN ALL GENERATIONS // VERSES 16-17

The psalm ends with great hope:

In place of your fathers shall be your sons;
you will make them princes in all the earth.
I will cause your name to be remembered in all generations;
therefore nations will praise you forever and ever.

This wedding has cosmic consequences, namely, children, nations, and an everlasting name. And that is fitting, since this is the great wedding between Christ and the church. But our earthly marriages are similarly cosmic in scope. When I preached Ephesians 5:31-33 back in 2020, I called that sermon The Cosmic Order of the Household because I believe that the household is a microcosm of the entire universe. Our homes are the cosmos in miniature. Thus, how we order our homes is meant to display and reflect how God has structured reality itself.

That is why marriage matters so much, even for those who are not married. Hebrews wisely says that marriage must be held in honor by all. Every Christian should cheer for, protect, and (most importantly) pray for the marriages around us. And we should certainly never rejoice in marital difficulties, inside or outside the church, because marriage points beyond itself to Christ and the church. Every marriage speaks either truth or falsehood about that great and eternal marriage. Here is a finally question for our earthly marriage: What is your marriage saying about Christ?

But that Marriage is coming. Christ is the most beautiful of the sons of men. He is the second Adam, spotless and sinless. Yet when he came, he did not clothe himself in visible splendor. Isaiah tells us that there was no beauty in Him that we should desire Him. He took the form of a servant, humbling Himself and becoming obedient to the point of death on a cross. His beauty was marred so that ours could be restored.

Christ is the warrior who conquers not merely His earthly enemies but Satan, sin, death, and the grave. He is the King whose throne endures forever. And the church is His bride: faithful to hear His voice, called to forsake rival loves, beautified by His grace, and joyfully submitting to His lordship.

Thus, as we come now to the Table of our King, let us look to Christ, our Bridegroom, our King, our Lord. Do you desire Him? Is He beautiful to you? And as we eat this bread and drink of this cup, let us taste and see that the Lord is good. Let us be a people who are captivated not by the fading beauties of this world but by the transforming beauty of our King.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

• The psalm is called a “love song,” but not primarily a romantic one. How would you describe the kind of love that Psalm 45 celebrates?
• Why is it significant that Hebrews 1:8 applies this passage to Christ?
• The psalm describes four characteristics of the Bride (vv. 10-11): she listens, forsakes, is desired, and submits. Which of these four resonates most with you personally as a Christian following Christ? Which one challenges you most?
• “The root of all sin is the suspicion that God is withholding good things from us.” Where in your life are you most tempted to believe this lie? How does believing Psalm 84:11 (“No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly”) combat that suspicion?
• “Do you desire Him? Is He beautiful to you?” How would you honestly answer these questions right now? What dulls your desire for Christ, and what awakens it?
• For husbands: The sermon applied three characteristics of the King to husbands: beauty/goodness, strength/protection, and godliness. Which of these three areas do you most need to grow in? What would one practical step look like this week?
• For wives: Of the four characteristics of the Bride (listens, forsakes, is desired, submits), which one most encourages you? Which one most challenges you? How might you grow in that area?
• The sermon asked: “What is your marriage saying about Christ?” If someone observed your marriage, what would they learn about Christ and His relationship with the church? What would you want them to learn?
• For singles: How does understanding marriage as ultimately pointing to Christ and the church shape how you view singleness? How does this psalm encourage or challenge you in your current season?
• As we look ahead to our study of Song of Songs in the coming weeks, how has Psalm 45 prepared us? What connections do you already see between this royal wedding psalm and the love poetry we’ll encounter?