Three things are too wonderful for me;
Four I do not understand:
The way of an eagle in the sky,
The way of a serpent on a rock,
The way of a ship on the high seas,
And the way of a man with a virgin.

Proverbs 30:18-9 ESV

The text before us this morning is itself the embodiment of what it proclaims.

It is mighty and marvelous.

But also beautiful and delicate.

It is holy, and therefore it is also dangerous.

Because anything that is truly holy must be approached with care.

We do not want to make the mistake of Nadab and Abihu, who approached what was holy in a casual and frivolous manner. Instead, we must come to this passage with reverence—with the seriousness that God’s holy Word deserves.

As we prepare to hear it, I want one verse to linger in our minds. Paul writes in Titus 1:15–16:

To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled. They profess to know God, but they deny Him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.

Texts like the one before us this morning function as a kind of litmus test, revealing our own hearts.

To the pure, all things are pure.

But to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure.

And that word defiled should immediately take our minds back to Leviticus. Defilement is not the corruption of something common. You can only defile what was originally holy, sacred, and set apart.

So as we come to this passage, let us pray that God would grant us purity of mind in Jesus Christ, so that we might  receive His Word with purity rather than distortion.

And if our minds have been shaped by years of unbelief, by the patterns of this world, or by lingering defilement, let us pray that God would use His holy Word this morning to renew us and transform us, so that we would no longer conform to the pattern of this world, but be renewed in Christ, able to discern what is good and acceptable and perfect.

TOO WONDERFUL

There are three things too wonderful for me,
four that I do not understand.

So begins Agur, the author of Proverbs 30.

We don’t know much about Agur, but his defining characteristic is humility. As he surveys God’s creation, he’s acutely aware of his own lack of wisdom. And so verse 18 announces that he’s going to consider matters that are lofty, profound, magnificent, things too wonderful for him to comprehend fully.

This verse is both our goal and our warning. It’s our goal because our study of verse 19 should leave us sharing Agur’s awe. But it’s also a warning that we shouldn’t expect scientific, exhaustive understanding. These matters are beyond our comprehension. That’s the point.

Notice Agur’s formula: three things… four. This doesn’t mean he forgot the last item. It’s a Hebrew rhetorical device that calls our attention to the final item. Three things are wonderful, but the fourth is the most awe-inspiring of all.

And notice Agur’s posture. By acknowledging his ignorance, he’s walking the path of wisdom. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the first step toward wisdom is knowing you’re not wise. That’s the posture we need as we approach any Scripture, knowing our desperate need for God to speak.

THREE MYSTERIOUS MOVEMENTS

Let us consider the first three items that Agur lists:

the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
and the way of a ship on the high seas.

First, notice that these three things are moving within the three realms of creation: heavens, earth, and sea. This hints that Agur is pointing us toward cosmic mysteries. These are profundities that Yahweh has built into His creation.

Let’s consider each image. Imagine the questions that might run through an ancient observer’s mind as he or she studied an eagle in the sky. How does it stay in the air? Where is it going? How does it know where it’s going? Even today, with our modern understanding of aerodynamics, the eagle is still amazing. There is no path in the heavens, nor tracks left behind. How does it know to find the air currents? It is also an apex predator, one of the most majestic of all animals yet also one of the most lethal.

The graceful and effortless movements of the legless snake are a wonder by itself, but on a rock, the snake leaves no trail, no evidence of its passing. But we should not imagine a small stone; rather, the word probably refers to a large boulder, which in ancient Israel would have been filled with crevices and cracks. If you look away after finding such a snake, it will have vanished as if into thin air. Of course, the snake also may venomous.

Unlike the eagle and snake, the ship is a work of man. In the ancient world, it was one of the greatest and most consequential of all inventions. Here Agur considers a ship in the high seas or, as the Hebrew says, the heart of the seas. For all the greatness of human ingenuity, a ship is a fragile plaything to the chaotic vastness of the seas. When a ship is far from harbor, it too is dangerous and traceless. Water instantly ceases the path that it cuts for itself.

There is no end to considering the commonalities between these three images. They are each majestic items moving through one part of God’s created order for the cosmos, being upheld by a majesty even greater than their own. Each leaves no trace of its presence as it moves within each element. Each is mysterious (how does an eagle stay in the sky, how a snake moves without legs, how does a ship stay afloat). Each majestic to behold. Each is perilous.

THE FOURTH WAY

Now we are prepared to meditate on the fourth path: the way of a man with a virgin. While that is certainly a fine translation, the Hebrew is a bit more nuanced, which will help us to have a more precise understanding what Agur’s point is.

The Hebrew word for man is not the common word ish but geber, which comes from the root meaning ‘strong.’ David’s mighty men are the gibborim, men of war and of strength. Thus, this is a strong man, likely a younger man at the height of his masculine glory and at the peak of physical potential.

The female here is almah. Virgin is very likely the idea of what is being communicated, but it is specifically a young woman who is past girlhood but is not yet married. In the Vulgate, Jerome chose adolescentula (which is the root of the English word adolescent) instead of virgo. Her youth is the emphasis because of all the possibility that she represents: fertility, life, family, legacy, creation. It also contrasts with the geber. If he is mighty like an ox, she is delicate and beautiful like a flower.

Now, most translations say the way of a man with a virgin. And that is certainly correct. But the Hebrew preposition here is the letter bet (ב), which most commonly means ‘in.’ I believe Agur chooses this word deliberately. He isn’t just talking about a boy walking beside a girl holding hands. He is talking about union. This is the wedding night. The act of consummation that establishes a new household. For all the beauty of the wedding itself and covenant vows that are made, this is the moment when the two become one flesh. This is the movement that turns the geber into a pater familias and the almah into an ishah (woman).

But why does this initial act of intimacy belong with the eagle, snake, and ship?

It is also cosmic in scope. As we mentioned in last week’s sermon, the household is the cosmos in miniature. When a man and woman come together in marriage, they are forming a microcosm of God’s design for all reality. They are reflecting the order of reality itself. Just as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit created the cosmos from the overflow of divine love, so too does marital love overflow into new life.

It is, therefore, powerful and consequential. That moment stands at the threshold of the great wonders of life: potential children, a legacy and lineage, a blessing or curse for future generations.

But here is the profound irony of this list. The first three movements are mysterious partly because they leave no trace. The eagle vanishes into the sky. The serpent disappears among the rocks. The ship’s wake closes behind it. But the fourth way? This leaves everything. A new household. A new identity: the geber becomes husband and father, the almah becomes wife and mother. Children. A legacy. Descendants who will echo through eternity.

The first three are wonderful because they’re ephemeral, untraceable. The fourth is wonderful because it’s permanent, generative, world-creating. That’s the mystery. A single moment, one night, one act of union, sets in motion consequences that ripple into eternity.

That makes it also dangerous. It can lead to life or destruction, joy or devastation. The very act that seals the covenant can also defile it.

And most importantly (for our text), it is mysterious. Indeed, it is this mystery that makes weddings so beautiful for us to behold. It is raw potential unfolding before our eyes. What will their story look like? What tragedies will they face together? What obstacles will they overcome? Will an obstacle overcome them?

And all those questions begin with this mysterious union, this act of intimacy that make two image-bearers into one flesh, this act that seals a covenant that only death will sever.

If that were not enough, Paul deepens the mystery even further.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31-32)

Paul reference to Genesis 2:24’s “leaving and cleaving” is the way of the geber and almah here in Proverbs 30. Like Agur, Paul says that it is a profound mystery. The Greek word for mystery (mysterion) is a divine secret that God has now revealed. Indeed, it is a secret that only God Himself could reveal; it cannot be attained by human reason alone. But here what makes the mystery so great: marriage, from the very beginning, was designed to point beyond itself to Christ and His bride, the church.

It is also fitting that the preposition in marks three of the four mysteries in our text because, as Sinclair Ferguson says, “no preposition is more important to gospel grammar than the preposition in, especially when it appears in the phrase in Christ or one of its several variations in the New Testament, in Him or in the Lord.” Although an eagle can be in a nest and a ship can be at port, an eagle is designed to be in the heavens and a ship in the high seas. Likewise, the way of a man in a woman is where the spark of life occurs. Thus, it is the means of fulfilling God’s explicitly design for humanity: to be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth.

But again, this physical mystery points to a greater spiritual reality. Just as the man is in the woman, creating a new life and a new household, we are united to our Savior. Those who are redeemed by Christ are now in Christ. The mystery of the bedroom points to the mystery of the empty tomb, that we are united with Him in His death and resurrection.

Ephesians 1:3-14 is the great passage for understanding what it means to be in Christ, and make sure to note all the covenantal imagery as we read it:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

Indeed, this is the greatest of all mysteries.

The way of an eagle in the heavens displays the lofty grandeur of God.

The way of a snake on a rock displays the intricate handiwork of God’s design.

The way of a ship in the heart of the seas displays the smallest of our greatest accomplishments in comparison to God’s majesty.

The way of a man in a virgin displays the wonder of God’s invitation to participate in His creative work.

But the way of redemption in Christ is nothing less than the renewal of all creation, and it displays the manifold wisdom of God for all eternity

Do you stand in wonder with Agur and Paul? Are you amazed at how God invites us to imitate His act of creation? At how mighty of a man and the vitality of a woman come together to bring eternal souls into existence? At how it is a living display of Christ’s love for us?

Spirit, renew our minds to consider these Your works in humble and awestruck worship. Ignite a new amazement for the grandeur of Your creation and the unsearchable riches of Christ and the new creation in Him.

THE WAY OF THE ADULTERESS

But now listen to verse 20: This is the way of an adulteress: she eats and wipes her mouth and says, “I have done no wrong.”

Notice how this verse is clearly connected to the previous two. This too is a way or path. It is the same word derek. After four wonderful and mysterious ways, he introduces a fifth. But it is not wonderful. It’s tragic.

The adulteress is not an almah. She is married, an ishah. She is not in the flower of her youth, but that does not lessen her worth. On the contrary, she has everything that is so romantic about the young woman. The future is open-ended for the almah, and there is great beauty in wondering with her what it will hold. But the ishah has everything that the almah hopes for. She has a husband. A household. Children (presumably). A legacy. A covenant. For her, the possibilities are realities. The seed of youth has flowered into the fruit of maturity.

Yet she treats it all as nothing. She eats and wipes her mouth.

Casual consumption.

Appetite.

Nothing more than a snack.

She demystifies the wonder. Trivializes the holy. She defiles her covenant.

She is like Esau, who sold his birthright for a bowl of stew. She despises the good gift of God by treating it as common rather than cosmic.

Most tragically of all, she say, “I have done no wrong.”

She invites strangers into the garden that she vowed to give only to her husband. But there is no guilt. She continues life as normal, careless to her defilement of the holy.

Crucially, this did not happen overnight. Tim Keller notes:

But it takes time to become so insouciant about sex. Our natural impulse is to find sex a very big deal and to become emotionally involved. Our hearts go along with our bodies. Only after you train yourself to take physical pleasure without the full personal commitment of marriage do the soul and body become detached. Then you can have sex without being too emotionally involved, and you just wipe your mouth.

Of course, this is exactly how our culture treats sexuality. Intimacy is nothing but biology. Sexuality is just like hunger or thirst, and sex is no more important than having a snack. It certainly doesn’t need a covenant. In fact, you have to test drive a car before you buy it. And how are you going to keep a man around if you don’t put out? He’ll just go to someone who will. As long as it is between two consenting adults, it doesn’t hurt anyone.

That’s what the world says.

That’s what the world always says.

“Food for the stomach and the stomach for food.”

God calls it trying to fill up a broken cistern or putting money into a bag with holes in it. It is Nadab and Abihu’s unauthorized fire. Profaning the holy. Making common the cosmic. Trampling the mystery like a doormat.

And many mean it when they say, “I have done no wrong.” They have been so catechized by culture that they genuinely don’t see the problem.

The tragedy is great because the mystery is great. All sin is equally damning in the sight of God, but not all sin bears the same consequences in this life. Both theft and murder are in the Ten Commandments, but only a fool would argue that theft is just as wicked as murder. Taking someone’s life is plainly worse than taking someone’s property. Likewise, the consequences vary according to the status of the sinner. The rage of man may get himself or another man killed, but the rage of a ruler kills thousands. C.S. Lewis put it powerfully: ‘The higher a thing was in its original design, the lower it sinks when it falls.’ Or as he said elsewhere, ‘It is not mice that become devils but archangels.’ The greater the glory, the more devastating its corruption.

And that is why this is the battleground of our culture. We should not be surprised that Satan seeks to corrupt the mystery that displays Christ and His church and the union that gives us a glimpse back into Eden and brings more of God’s image-bearers into the world. God forbid we refrain from speaking the truth of God’s Word because the topic makes us uncomfortable!

But in doing so, we must still approach them as the mysteries that they are. One of my concerns with how some Christians have sought (with good intensions) to speak about God’s design for sexuality is that they often make it seems as common as the world does. We must approach the subject with the same holy fear and sacred confidence the priests had when entering the tabernacle.

WHAT DO WE DO WITH THIS?

If verse 20 describes you, if you have been treating the holy gifts of God casually, know that there is hope in Christ. Acknowledge your sin. Repent and flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). Come to Christ. Whether it’s pornography, fornication, adultery, or lust of the heart, stop pretending you’ve done nothing wrong. The Pharisees refused to be healed because they would not confess their need for Christ to be their Physician.

Or maybe you have been wounded by the sin of someone else: betrayed by a spouse’s adultery, used to satisfy someone’s appetite rather than loved in covenant, scarred by a predatory touch, burdened by porn’s lies. Our God is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). He sees, and He heals. History continuously testifies to God’s using for good what men intended for evil. Sexual sin is evil and a violation of what God made holy. But you are not defined by what was done to you.

For those who are single (perhaps hoping to marry someday), let Scripture, not the world, shape your vision. See marriage as cosmic, not casual. Guard what is holy with covenant. As Song of Songs will command: do not awaken love until its time. The world will tell you that waiting is repression, that you need to ‘try before you buy,’ that everyone’s doing it. But God’s design is worth waiting for. And in the meantime, pour your passion into Christ and His kingdom. He is sufficient, even if singleness is lifelong.

If you’re married, ask yourself honestly: Have I started treating my spouse like verse 20 treats covenant? Taking for granted what I once stood in awe of? Letting familiarity breed contempt rather than deeper love?

Fight for your marriage. Invest in keeping the mystery alive. Remember: you’re living in the fulfillment of what the almah only hoped for. Don’t despise it by treating it casually.

And be careful about your story diet. Most romances focus on the buildup, the ‘will they, won’t they.’ They end at the wedding. They don’t show you what it looks like when the man’s body is weary from providing by the sweat of his brow, when the woman’s potential fertility has become a quiver full of arrows. Don’t let those stories train you to value the chase over the covenant you already have.

LOOKING TO CHRIST

Ultimately, just as marriage itself points us to Christ, so too do these verses. Christ is the great Bridegroom and the true geber, the Mighty One who has dethroned the strong man of this world, conquering death with death.

But when Christ came for us, He did not find us like a pure and patient almah, waiting faithfully for Him. He found us as adulteresses who had given ourselves to other lovers. We trampled His covenant and denied that we did anything wrong.

But Christ came to us anyway. He entered our mess, lived the life of covenant faithfulness that we failed to live. He now washes us with His blood and Word, cleansing us and taking us as His bride.

In the fall, Lord willing, we will study Hosea, one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking books in Scripture. God commanded Hosea to marry a harlot, Gomer, and she runs away, giving herself to others and casually defiling the covenant. Yet God tells Hosea to buy her back and love her still. That is the story of God and Israel, the story of Christ and His people. That’s my story and your story. We are Gomer. We are the adulteress. Yet Christ pursues us, redeems us, and makes us His bride.

One day, that great marriage will be consummated. Revelation 21 shows us the New Jerusalem descending from heaven like a bride adorned for her husband. Christ is, even now, forming us into that city. Through the indwelling Spirit, He is making us into His own dwelling place. Indeed, in the new heavens and new earth, there will be no temple because God Himself will dwell with His people forever. On that day, the mystery will be fully revealed. The covenant will be eternally secure. We will be safe in Christ forevermore.

And so we return to where we began. Three things are too wonderful for me; four I do not understand. Agur was right to stand in awe. The way of an eagle, a serpent, a ship are certainly wonders. But the sealing of the marital covenant through way of a man in a young woman? That’s a mystery that points to the greatest mystery of all: the way of redemption in Christ.

We cannot fully understand our salvation, and we certainly cannot exhaust the depths of it. But we are called to inhabit it. Covenants almost always come with a feast, with the shared meal being a tangible expression of the commitment made. And so we come the Lord’s Supper.

We do not come because we understand all mysteries, but because we belong to Christ. We come not having mastered the covenant, but resting within it. This table is for those who have been united to Christ by faith, for those who have fled (and are fleeing) from false loves and found their life in Him. If you are trusting in Christ alone for your salvation, this meal is for you. Come taste and see the goodness of our God as we gaze upon the faithfulness of the Bridegroom who gave Himself for His bride.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

• The sermon opened with Titus 1:15: “To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure.” How did that verse shape how you listened to the sermon?
• The sermon emphasized that Agur begins with humility: “Three things are too wonderful for me; four I do not understand.” Why is humility the right posture for approaching these mysteries? What happens when we approach sexuality without humility?
• Agur lists three mysterious movements before getting to the fourth: an eagle in the sky, a serpent on a rock, a ship in the heart of the sea. What do these three have in common? How do they prepare us to understand “the way of a man with a young woman”?
• The sermon pointed out that the first three movements leave no trace, but the fourth leaves everything: household, identity, children, legacy. Why is this irony significant? What does it tell us about the weight and permanence of sexual union?
• The sermon connected the physical union of marriage to our spiritual union with Christ: “We are in Christ.” What does it mean to be “in Christ”? (See Ephesians 1:3-14.) How should being “in Christ” shape how we live, including our sexuality?
• Verse 20 describes the adulteress who “eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I have done no wrong.'” What makes this image so tragic after spending time on the wonder of verses 18-19? What is she destroying?
• The sermon said, “They have been so catechized by culture that they genuinely don’t see the problem.” What are the specific ways our culture treats sexuality like the adulteress: casual, common, no big deal? How have you seen this play out?
• C.S. Lewis said, “The higher a thing was in its original design, the lower it sinks when it falls.” How does this principle apply to sexuality? Why is sexual sin particularly devastating?
• The introduction said this text functions as a “litmus test, revealing our own hearts.” What did this sermon reveal about your heart? About how you’ve been shaped (for better or worse) by culture’s view of sexuality?
• Go back to Titus 1:15. Paul says our minds and consciences can be defiled, making it impossible to see anything as pure. How do defiled minds get renewed? What role does Scripture, community, repentance, and the Spirit play?
• The sermon said, “Repent and flee from sexual immorality.” Why does Paul use the language of fleeing (1 Cor 6:18) rather than just resisting? What does fleeing look like in a digital age where temptation follows us everywhere?
• The sermon foreshadowed the fall Hosea series: God commands Hosea to marry Gomer the harlot, and when she runs away, to buy her back and love her still. Why is this story so central to understanding the gospel? What does it reveal about God’s character? About His love for us?
• Based on this sermon, what’s one concrete step you need to take this week? Examples:
  • Singles: Delete a dating app / Set boundaries with a relationship / Confess habitual sin to a friend
  • Married: Have an honest conversation with your spouse / Plan a date night / Address resentment or taking them for granted
  • Everyone: Change your media diet / Seek counseling / Memorize a verse about purity / Set up accountability